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FOTB: Making money, missing home

Mike Toenjes of Somerset stays in an RV in Crosby, where he works as a truck driver in North Dakota's Oil Patch. He gets about 10 days time to go home to his wife and sons every six weeks.

CROSBY -- For a family man like Mike Toenjes, working 10 hours away from home is tough.

But with North Dakota's Oil Patch offering truck driving jobs with better pay, Toenjes and his family in western Wisconsin are making it work.

For the past year and four months, Toenjes has been living in Crosby -- a rural town so far north that the 37-year-old calls it "the end of the world." His job is driving tank trucks to haul water for oil drilling and production in northwestern North Dakota and eastern Montana.

"The problem is that I love the job, but I hate that it's so far from home," Toenjes said. "If there was a way to move this job 650 miles closer to home, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

Toenjes has sons ages 5 and 7 who live with his wife, Stacy, in Somerset, Wis. He also has sons ages 15 and 17 who live with their mother in Hudson, Wis.

Before moving to North Dakota, Toenjes worked as a truck driver in the Twin Cities area, but he started to see a trend with employers cutting wages and benefits.

The family had a tough couple of years financially, in part because his wife decided to go back to school to finish her teaching degree, and also because Toenjes injured his shoulder and was out of work for some time. The family lost their home in New Richmond, Wis., to foreclosure.

After hearing there was potential to make "gigantic money" in North Dakota, Toenjes said it was time to try something different.

"At first I wasn't too concerned," Stacy Toenjes said about her husband's decision to seek employment in North Dakota. "Mike's mind is always on the go, so I wasn't actually thinking that he would really do it. I figured it was just him pondering the idea. It wasn't until he was actually packing and ready to leave that my heart sank."

Stacy, who works as a reading specialist for the Somerset School District, said the entire family has needed to make adjustments since Mike's departure.

"Our whole world has changed," she said. "Mike left for the Dakotas in April 2011, we moved to a new home in August 2011, and (the boys) started a new school in September 2011. Now we are in a routine and things are working out well ... except the fact we only see Mike for about 10 days every six weeks or so."

Mike Toenjes had to borrow $750 from his father to get west.

"That is incredibly embarrassing," he said.

During his first few months in North Dakota, Toenjes said he was making good money and paid his father back.

But since last July, it's been more difficult to work as many hours, Toenjes said. Plus, he quickly found that the cost of living in oil country is high.

"You can make pretty good money," Toenjes said. "But it costs real money to live out here."

Even though it's difficult for him to be away, Toenjes said it's tougher on his wife.

"You have to have a strong woman at home," he said.

Stacy said she has had some help.

"I have a really strong support system around Somerset to help with the boys," she said. "I do it because I have to, not because I want to. I love my husband and children and would do anything for them."

Stacy admitted she hoped her husband would hate his new job and return not long after leaving for Crosby. Stacy said technology has helped the boys adjust to Mike being gone.

"We have been doing this for over a year now, and the boys and I still have such a hard time saying goodbye. We talk to Mike daily and also video chat with him on the computer. This helps the boys adjust to missing Daddy."

The Toenjes family also has made several trips to Crosby to see Mike and have considered relocating.

"Our lives are ever changing, so it is impossible to say how long he will end up staying," she said. "We have considered moving to Crosby on numerous occasions. We are not sure if this would be a positive move for the family. Lots of things to consider ... but, still discussing it."

Dalrymple is a Forum Communications Co,. reporter based in the Oil Patch. Jackie Grumish writes for the New Richmond (Wis.) News, a Forum Communications newspaper.