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Jackie Hope: Diamonds are forever

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Ladies, let’s play “major truth.” Did your sweetie get you the coolest, to-die-for Valentine gift in, like, forever, last Friday? Or not?

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Guys, did you hit it out of the park with a home run gift of hot shoes and bling? Or did you whiff it with a home repair gift of hot glue and string? Aced that one, didn’t you?

Well, lucky you! Here is a chance for do-overs, while doing something for a good cause. You’ve seen those Domestic Violence Awareness donation canisters around town, haven’t you? The ones where you drop in your money, and take away a teal-colored awareness ribbon, as well as a renewed awareness of the needs of our local Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Center.

Huh? You are sitting there with a blank look on your face. There are 100 of those canisters, hungrily waiting for your donations at businesses throughout the town. Go get yourself a cup of coffee and a donut, and chuck in your spare change.

In addition to their awareness campaign, the Domestic Violence folks have an amazing raffle going on for the next few weeks — the Diamond Dash. Man, don’t you love the sound of that? Mmm, diamonds! Britton Jewelers has donated diamond jewelry, worth more than $7,000, as part of this amazing treasure hunt.

If you can part with $20, get yourself a ticket at Stix N’ Twigs from Feb. 17-22, 3rd Avenue Floral from Feb. 24 to March 3, Quality Quick Print from March 3-8, The Brickhouse from March 10-15, The Brew from March 17-22, or Stix N’ Twigs again from March 24-29.

Every week until the end of March you — or your sweetie — will have a chance to win a designer bag filled with amazing gifts and gift certificates. No, we did not forget about the diamonds. C’mon, who is gonna forget about a small fortune in diamonds? Just wait for it.

See, there are seven bags of goodies that are part of the raffle. The first one was won on Valentine’s Day. Dang, no, it wasn’t me that won. Yet.

But we have 6 more chances to get one of those baggies. And OMGoodness, they are filled with amazing stuff. Stuff beyond your wildest dreams! OK, some of us can dream pretty big, but still, those bags all by themselves retail for $150. Yeah, a nosy person peeked at the sales tag. Not naming names, just saying.

And inside the bags are donations of cool stuff from vendors and merchants around town: gift certificates and cosmetics and gym memberships and — this is one of the best gifties — coffee. Snap! There is nothing better than coffee, except more coffee. Every week somebody’s name will be drawn, and that somebody is gonna get a fab bag — did we mention one bag is a snakeskin print? — and all that coffee. Note to self: buy another raffle ticket.

You are still thinking about that diamond jewelry, aren’t you? On April 1, ticket holders will be eligible for a treasure hunt to find the mother lode: a diamond necklace and earrings. Holy bling! This makes Willy Wonka’s golden tickets look like picked-over Valentine chocolates, in comparison. No April foolie. This is a for-realie.

Don’t know about you, but some of us were born with the DNA of magpies, and are inordinately fond of anything shiny and sparkly. So when there is a contest to win a diamond pendant and earrings that are the size of pop tops, but a whole lot sparklier, we magpies are all a-flutter.

Now, about that treasure hunt. This is so cool! Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 8:30 a.m., ticket holders can tune in to The Mix radio station, KDXN 105.7 FM, and listen for clues in order to discover where the diamonds are hidden. And the first person to correctly dash to the stash, snags the swag!

All right, the actual diamonds are being kept at Britton Jewelers, and a big honker fake diamond is what’s really hidden away. But you get the idea; and the finder gets the real diamonds.

What, you are not awake enough at 8:30 in the morning to figure out the clue? See, that is why you need to win that bag with all the coffee. For the un-caffeinated listeners, there is a Facebook site that offers you the clue. And you can read it real slow, until your coffee rush kicks in. Go to Crisis Center Diamond DASH on Facebook to check it out.

Just telling you, though, that the early bird coffee addicts will already have been all over that clue.

Here is the beauty part of this fundraiser. The Domestic Violence and Rape Crisis Center will receive 100 percent of the raffle money because 100 percent of the prizes and 100 percent of the publicity and marketing have been donated. The organizer, Laurie Willett, said she has been overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone she has contacted.

“No one has said, ‘No,’” Willett said.

You want a raffle ticket, don’t you? You can buy tickets from the merchants we already mentioned, or you can buy tickets online by visiting diamonddashdix@gmail.com.

Guys, giving your sweetie a raffle ticket for these Powerball prizes will make up for forgetting Valentine’s Day, or for getting her a box of screwdrivers instead of a box of chocolates.

Oh man, all those years of reading Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mysteries are gonna pay off! Neener, neener to all of you who wasted your time reading “Goosebumps,” because all your zombie-killing skills are not going to get you to the diamonds nearly as fast as our mystery-solving skills will.

And you guys who spent your middle school years playing video games? Well, you’ll probably grow up to be lawyers or something. Race you to the diamonds!

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