Omdahl: Lightening up on the really big news
With the trade of Josh Willingham to Kansas City, the most recent of many, the U.S. Justice Department is going to charge the Twins with human trafficking because they don’t show any evidence of being in baseball.
If not trafficking, they’ve been in the cellar so long perhaps they are in the mushroom business. For slugger Willingham, the Twins got two batboys and a two cases of bubblegum.
It proves that the world has been going downhill since the invention of the iron plow.
Washington lawyers are lobbying for lighter sentencing guidelines for white-collar crime. The church people are ecstatic. They think it will let them off the hook.
A proposal to change the name of North Dakota to just Dakota was considered and defeated in the 1947 legislative session. Some of us are still thinking about it. Maybe we should bring the problem to the NCAA. They have a way of dealing with names.
The North Dakota Petroleum Council financed a study to prove that Bakken crude is not as volatile as claimed by the federal government. Then why is it supporting a proposal to outlaw all smoking west of Garrison?
While our planes were dropping food and water to the folks trapped on Sinjal, they could have solved two problems at once by dropping Ebola on Islamic staters. It would have been more deadly than airstrikes.
The small town of Cormorant, Minn., made news by electing a dog for mayor. What is so unusual about that? A lot of towns have done that.
North Dakota celebrated its 125th birthday a few days ago, even though the state’s birthday is really in November. But who wants a party on the capitol lawn in November?
The oil companies are in competition with the Legislature to see who can waste the most gas.
Even the legislators who denounce socialism love the Bank of North Dakota. However, they think we ought to sell the state Mill and Elevator to the Russians. Not because it is socialism, but because it doesn’t make enough money.
The Bible is true, but how do I reconcile Noah’s Ark with dinosaurs? Maybe they were created off-camera.
Some believers are now building a replica of the Ark in Kentucky so they can prove that the dinosaurs fit. After he landed, Noah must have spent weeks cleaning the place up.
Dinosaurs were the least of Noah’s problems. It was getting those two cats on board.
Apartments are so expensive in Williston that landlords are thinking of renting them by eight-hour increments. Some Eastern publication has claimed that rent is higher in Williston than in New York City. But New York is not close to an oilfield, so it comes out about even.
The Environmental Protection Agency has set carbon dioxide reduction goals for all the states. Even though North Dakota’s goal is lower than other states, the coal folks are up in arms. The EPA is putting its feet to the fire, so as to speak.
Unless we use some of the oil money to find a solution for this carbon dioxide problem, coal is going to end up as the Edsel of the energy industry — 350 billion tons of coal and no place to burn.
Cows are now being blamed for earth warming. Scientists claim that cows release 100 kg of methane yearly — 23 times more damaging than carbon dioxide. Don’t be alarmed. They are experimenting with Rolaids and Beano as feed additives.
Better have your steak now, just in case.
Omdahl is former North Dakota lieutenant governor and retired University of North Dakota political science teacher. Email him at firstname.lastname@example.org.