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Some notes about cabbages and kinds

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opinion Dickinson, 58602
The Dickinson Press
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Dickinson North Dakota 1815 1st Street West 58602

Bipartisan may be a bitter word in Washington these days but the greatest success in 50 years was the result of bipartisanship on the part of two politicians who are poles apart -- President George Bush and President Barack Obama. Their joint effort on the $800 billion recovery fund saved the economy from disaster.

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A prize pig at the Minnesota Fair came down with swine flu -- contracted from an infected fair spectator who patted her on the head. Seems the poor pig was not in the vulnerable group eligible for a flu shot.

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Good news for everyone planning to die. Wal-mart is going into the coffin business. (It has to be true -- I saw it on the Internet). There will be no installment deals, but there will be a layaway plan and a lifetime guarantee. Expect the funeral director to object when relatives come hauling in your cut-rate casket. The urn people won't like being cut out of the business, either. The question is: Will there be a restocking charge if it doesn't fit?

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The pilots of Northwest Airlines have succeeded once again in embarrassing the company by forgetting to land in Minneapolis. Not too long ago, a couple of them were arrested in Minneapolis for flying overloaded from Fargo. Then in the '60s, on the old Minneapolis-Fargo-Jamestown-Bismarck Electra run, they landed in Valley City instead of Jamestown. I was not aboard either of the planes to Minneapolis but I did get a good look at the Valley City airport.

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No matter what happens, you can always get rich by exploiting it. Capt. Chesley Sullenberger had to ditch a plane in the Hudson, wrote a book and now is one rich dude. Sarah Palin has turned a bitter campaign experience into a few million while her deposed non-son-in-law, Levi Johnston, father of Sarah's granddaughter, is going to make his money posing nude for Playgirl magazine. I heard that the 6-year-old Ft. Collins kid who was in the attic instead of the runaway balloon is writing a short book, "How it Looked from Here." America is the land of opportunity. So go have a bad experience. Wealth and fame are waiting.

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Most people who aren't up to speed on the health reform debate think that the public option calls for more community rest rooms.

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"I am no crook," the infamous denial of President Richard Nixon just weeks before he resigned, is being repeated in Washington more frequently these days. About 30 distinguished members of Congress are being investigated for ethics violations and are in danger of becoming extinguished members of Congress. Not much danger, though. Congress will eat Wall Street bankers but never its own.

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After experiencing a wintery playoff season, the Twins baseball planners will be forced to put electric outlets beside each seat so fans can bring heaters to the fabulous all-weather outdoor ballpark in April and October. Of course, there will be a hook-up fee. To rephrase President Harry Truman, if you can't stand the cold, the rain or the snow, get out of the ballpark.

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