Loose lips expose big slips across the states

Talk about it

Devils Lake Mayor: Just when you think things can’t get worse, they do.

Toyota’s Toyoda: Isn’t that the truth.

North Dakota State University President Hanson: More than you will ever know.

Lutheran Bishop: Amen

Partisan No. 1: I see Vice President Cheney went to the hospital to prove he has a heart.

Partisan No. 2: We’ll never know. The doctors have been sworn to secrecy.

Dean of Students: We’ve just got to get students to quit binge drinking.

Social Psychologist: Maybe it would help if we got the parents to quit first.

Driving Instructor: North Dakota has the happiest drivers — ranks third in the driver misery index.

Law Enforcer: They ought to be happy — high speed limit, low fines, kid drivers, wild texting and smooth ditches.

Chancellor: That tribal council at Fort Yates is sure stonewalling us on the Fighting Sioux nickname.

University of North Dakota Alumnus: The reservation wasn’t named Standing Rock for nothing.

Political Reporter: Secretary of State Al Jaeger is running for re-election with a broken ankle.

Political Pundit No. 1: It’s a ploy to get the sympathy vote?

Political Pundit No. 2: He’s just proving that he can win with one foot behind his back.

Political Pundit No. 1: The director of the Fort Lincoln Foundation is running for the U.S. Senate.

Historian: Deja vu, the Little Big Horn all over again.

Birder: Boy, it’s quiet out here at South Heart. I don’t hear a single bird singing.

South Heartian: We have a noise ordinance. Couldn’t silence the noise from the bar without including the birds.

Flood Fighter: Every North Dakota government is hollering for federal flood aid and help from the Corps of Engineers.

Tea Partier: Yeah. Big government comes in handy once in a while. It’s disgusting.

Fiscal Watchdog: I see where Sen. Conrad is on Barack’s new budget-balancing committee

Skeptic: Yeah, he has a deck chair right next to the rail.

Fiscal Watchdog: At least he’s on board.

North Dakota State University Extensionist: Did you see where North Dakota leads the nation in 12 crops: barley, navy beans, pinto beans, canola, flax, honey, lentils, peas, non-oil and oil sunflowers, durum and spring wheat.

Fargo Mayor: They forgot the 13th- sandbags.

Apologist: Sarah Palin said God wrote notes on His hand, too.

GOP Moderate: Hiding behind God won’t help. He’s not her kind of Republican.

Eastern Watchdog: North Dakota ranks second per capita for earmarks? What do you say to that?

North Dakota Beneficiary: Oink! Oink!

Legislator: They’re initiating a measure requiring that legislators must read all bills before voting on them.

Critic: The problem isn’t reading — it’s understanding.

Tags: south heart, devils lake, opinion, syndicates