Schnepf: Packers have what the Vikings don’t

Talk about it

I confess. I grew up a Vikings fan — a childhood seemingly marred by not only our beloved purple losing four Super Bowls, but getting crushed in each one.

They say time heals all wounds. If that’s true, Vikings fans have had more than three decades to get better since the last Super Bowl setback in 1977.

Adding salt to this festering wound, of course, is the fact that the Green Bay Packers are playing in today’s Super Bowl. Needless to say, Vikings fans are green with envy — because there are so many things the Packers have that the Vikings don’t.

Like:

r Super Bowl rings. Bart Starr led the Packers to wins in the first two Super Bowls. Brett Favre did it in the 31st Super Bowl. Maybe the Vikings should’ve talked Bart, not Brett, out of retirement.

r Loyal fans. Who owns the Packers? The fans. Never mind that the team stocks they can purchase are non-transferable, non-appreciating, non-dividend paying shares.

The following is a joke about Packers fans. Then again, maybe it isn’t.

“A Packer fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Lambeau Field, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was.

“The guy said, ‘Yes, that’s my wife’s seat. We have never missed a game since the Lombardi days, but now my wife’s dead.’ The fan offered his sympathy and said it was really too bad he couldn’t find a relative to give the ticket to and enjoy the game together. ‘Oh no,’ the guy said. ‘They’re all at the funeral.’”

r Team apparel. So what would you rather be wearing on top of your head — a helmet with horns or a slab of cheddar cheese? What would you rather be called — a Viqueen or a Cheesehead?

Here’s another joke — at least I think it is.

“A first-grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Cheeseheads too.

“All but one student raise their hands. The student explains to the teacher that she is a Viking fan because her mom and dad are. ‘That’s no reason,’ the teacher angrily yells. ‘What if your mom and dad were morons. What would you be then?’

‘Then,’ the student says with a smirk. ‘I’d be a Cheesehead.’”

r Celebrity enemies. You’ll never see a movie icon like Bill Murray display his distaste for the Vikings like he did a couple of weeks ago for the Packers. A devout Bears fan, Murray reportedly shoved a Packer fan during the NFC Championship game. When the fan later asked for his autograph, Murray replied: “Nitzske is a pussy.”

r Celebrity fans. The list seems endless of the rich and famous who proclaim themselves Packers fans.

Fox News’ Greta Van Susteren owns team stock. Comedian Larry The Cable Guy who, when asked for his prediction for last year’s Super Bowl, said “I really don’t care who wins because I’m a Packer fan.”

Rapper Lil Wayne, rocker Joan Jett and comedian/actor Denis Leary are all Packer fans.

Topping the list is the late Chris Farley, the overweight comic on Saturday Night Live. Yes, the fat guy in a little coat who lives in a van down by the river and can dance his butt off will be cheering on the Packers today.

Holy Shnykees. The Packers even get help from high above.

Schnepf is the Sports Editor of The Forum

of Fargo-Moorhead, which is owned by

Forum Communications Co.

Tags: super bowl, sports, packers, vikings, columns, nfl