Holten: Love, hope and confidence; they are the keys

I do a lot of things with my horses including team roping, rounding up cattle, branding, giving people riding lessons and even venting in front of them, just to get things off my chest. Therefore, I have to ride them a lot to keep them in shape i...

Kevin Holten
Kevin Holten

What is the most important ingredient in life? I would say that it is love.

And one of the reasons that love is so important is because it gives us the second most important ingredient in life, and that is hope. Without hope, we cannot survive. That’s why freedom is so important, because it allows for and nurtures hope.

According to Mr. Dictionary, hope means to cherish a desire with anticipation: To want something to happen or to be true.

It also means, to desire with expectation of obtainment or fulfillment; to expect something, with confidence.

So that begs the question: If hope is to expect something with confidence, does hope create confidence? And are people attracted to confident people because confident people have hope and give them hope?


We have all heard over and over that women are very attracted to a confident male. But the fact is people in general are attracted to confident and sometimes almost arrogant people.

And that is because, whether you realize it or not, your life is a series of gambles. After all, you do not have all of the answers. You analyze each situation in your life, gather information, and try to make an educated guess as to how best to proceed, whether you are choosing a school, job, car, spouse, grocery store item or anything else.

In other words, you are an investor.

As such, you realize that confidence is an important asset that shines through in your personal relationships. That includes your own relationship with yourself and work related relationships. You respect a person that has confidence because you are investing your heart and soul into something you feel passionate about. And that sense of confidence brings hope and security to the situation.

Plus, confidence creates an aura that draws people in. Because, after all, for whatever reason, many people lack high self-esteem, and they are intrigued by people who have high levels of confidence. They want to learn how these people live their lives with hopes of emulating them.

If you visit my little North Dakota hometown located a stone’s throw from Canada and Montana you will quickly realize one thing; the men there, who are mainly farmers and ranchers with meaty hands, don’t talk much. That’s because talking is something that is reserved for women and traveling salesmen.

That doesn’t mean they don’t communicate. They just communicate in different, confident ways. For example, they communicate with a firm handshake, a nod, a pause before feeling like they have to talk to fill dead air, they don’t pry, or gossip, or feel the need to stand out in a crowd.

Blake Lively is an American actress. She is the recipient of accolades, including three Teen Choice Awards, a People's Choice Award, and nominations for two Critics' Choice Awards, plus an Academy of Country Music Award. And she said that the most beautiful thing that you can wear is confidence.


In my life I have been a regional and national sales manager, publisher, writer, and produced television series, rodeos, street festivals, plays, and other events.

What I quickly realized in those roles is that I needed to be immediately decisive and show that I am confidently in control, especially in the midst of the unexpected.

Super Bowl winning quarterback “Broadway” Joe Namath once said, “When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things.”

This column does not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Dickinson Press, nor Forum ownership.

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