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Omdahl: State government has just the job for you

Even though five percent of the North Dakota workforce is still claiming to be unemployed, there are plenty of jobs for the taking. Of course, the big downturn in the Bakken oilfield has released a number of good workers who are filling a few of ...

Omdahl
Lloyd Omdahl

Even though five percent of the North Dakota workforce is still claiming to be unemployed, there are plenty of jobs for the taking. Of course, the big downturn in the Bakken oilfield has released a number of good workers who are filling a few of the 25,000 jobs seeking warm bodies.
But there is still room for you. According to the North Dakota Office of Management and Budget’s listing of positions, the state government is looking for 127 good men or women to fill vacancies.
Even if your first choice isn’t available, it would be a good idea to take any of the jobs considering that the fast food places pay minimum wages and nothing like the health, vacation and retirement benefits offered by the state.
We run into a little difficulty if you are an older job applicant. Of course, the first problem is that you are older. It may be illegal to discriminate on the basis of age, but the color of your eyes may disqualify you. If your hair is thinning or missing, a hairpiece wouldn’t hurt.
You can apply for state jobs only online, meaning you must be computer literate. That screens out most old applicants. If you think that L.C. Smith typewriters are irreplaceable, forget the seven openings in the Information Technology Department.
You can apply by smartphone but most people with smart phones already have good jobs. A smart phone is not really smart but the people who put it together are smart and they have put their smartness into this electronic thing. Smartphones are manufactured by unsmart people in China. Compared to some of their users, smartphones are.
While we’re on the subject of technology, there is an opening in the Industrial Commission for a temporary Information Technology Assistant.
To qualify, you will be asked to compute the amount of excess flaring in the oilfields and calculate the annual loss of income for property owners and revenue for the state. If you come up with the right answer, your job will be more temporary than originally planned.
You also may be required to calculate in American dollars the ratio of a fine levied for pollution and the actual amount paid. Some oil companies would like to see the same computation in Canadian dollars.
If online and smartphone are not in your areas of expertise, you can apply for state jobs personally at any Job Service office, if one is still open in your part of the state. Otherwise, South Dakota has an office in Aberdeen.
One-fourth (35) of the 127 openings are in the Human Services Department. If you can’t hack the online system, you’re probably eligible for their opening for a director of aging services.
The Parks & Recreation Department needs an interpreter at Lake Metigoshe State Park. It doesn’t say what languages you will interpret, but a good understanding of Canadian would help since the park is close to the international border.
The Department of Transportation is looking for a temporary pilot. The plane is old so they don’t want to make a long-term commitment.
The Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation has openings. If you want to be a probation officer, you will be required to carry a gun. If you apply for this job, you must show that you have at least four toes left on each foot. This is the only department that provides funeral insurance and survivor benefits.
Well, I’ve offered you the best of the available state positions. If none of them interest you, you should be warned that states are now requiring able-bodied food stamp abusers to work. So get with it.

 

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